I had my first daughter over thirteen years ago and like most first time moms, I had no idea what to expect. I was so confidently clueless that I had no idea what I didn’t know or what I should even be asking. I had been around families and children my entire life.
I was the second oldest of five, had over twenty cousins that I helped babysit, was a babysitter (since I was 10 years old), a pre-school teacher, a respite worker and a special education teacher. I understood what children needed and what managing a household was all about. Somehow, very little of this translated into useable information when I became a mother.
It hit me almost immediately. I was scared, nervous, overwhelmed in every way good and bad, and really just needed support. On my daughter’s second day of life I booked a plane ticket to Chicago for my entire maternity leave. I flew to Chicago when my daughter was 10 days old and spent my entire maternity leave with my mom and dad. I didn’t see that one coming!
Since then, I quit my job as a special educator, became a birth and postpartum doula, a childbirth educator, and the owner of Chicago Family Doulas and Birth & Baby University. The birth of my daughter changed me in every way and I have made it my life’s mission to support families through this amazing and intense transition.
Here are 5 things new moms always want to know based on my experience:
1. Will I ever feel the same again?
This is a hard answer to digest. No, becoming a mother will change you! You will change your thinking, your priorities, your fears, your friendships, BUT you will be so in love with your new baby, you won’t miss the old you!
2. Will I ever feel the same way about my partner?
Maybe, but most likely not. Your partner is now a parent and like you they have changed. You may love them more, but this can take a while. The first year is quite an adjustment and many women experience some negative feelings about their relationship during this time. Communicate as much as possible before the baby arrives about expectations, etc.
3. Will I ever sleep again?
Yes, eventually you will sleep again. Expect the first year to be rough in the area of sleep. Most women get used to the broken up sleep and their body and brain magically adjust.
4. Will my body go back to how it was before pregnancy?
This is also a hard one to digest. Most women’s bodies change after pregnancy. Some women find it easy to embrace their new curves, wider hips, rounder bottom, bigger and different breasts, but some women struggle with these changes. Focus on being healthy and surrounding yourself with healthy people.
5. Will I ever stop worrying?
The worrying and new stress of becoming a mother can be so overwhelming. It gets easier in many ways, but it is hard having pieces of your heart walking around, falling down, getting hurt, feeling sad, etc. I don’t know if moms just get used to worrying or if they get pickier about what they worry about. Probably a little bit of both!
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